Babble on in Babylon

Today I called and asked my optometrist, or ophthalmologist, or whatever kind of eye doctor she is, if I could please please have some more contact lenses because I have been wearing these noxious eyeglasses for six weeks now, waiting to save money to buy the contacts.  She said “Sorry, no.  That would be ILLEGAL.” Translation: some eye doctor lobby group convinced our congress to make yearly eye exams mandatory in order to renew prescriptions.  So on May 14, it’s a valid prescription.  But on May 15, that’s a hot illegal prescription in your hands.

Since it’s hard to keep a good girl down, I also called my local Board of Education and asked the Pre-K coordinator if my 4 year old could come to 4 Year Old Pre-Kindergarten for half a day instead of the full 8 hours they have scheduled for these tiny impressionable souls.  “Sorry, no.  That would deprive some other tot from the full benefit of the program.”  Translation: ILLEGAL because the lottery in which poor people throw away their money hand-over-fist was always intended to provide day care for those same folks.  For EIGHT hours.   Not four, not three - a full working day or nothing.

This brought to mind a recent run-in with the law I had.  Back in November, as I tried to get a cup of hot coffee to my Mom, I was driving 14 miles over the 45 MPH speed limit.  Now there are several reasons I chose to break this particular law, but since I do actually believe that most laws are good and right, I won’t justify my decision here.  I was ready to present myself in court and throw myself on the mercy of said court.

A month later I trotted myself and two of my adorable, well-behaved (this day, anyway) children up to the State Court and was there early for a 7:30 a.m. court date.  I waited in the line to go through the metal detector, I left my cell phone in my minivan as instructed, and hoped for a quick and merciful resolution.  HA!

Mr. Security Man, on seeing my boys, said “Do you have someone here with you to watch the children?”  “Um, no.”  “Well, tell you what.  You go have a seat over there on the bench (outside the courtroom that everyone else before and after me was filing in to) and we’ll wait for the court to clear out a little.  Then you can go in.”

ONE HOUR LATER

As I watched all the delinquents and late-comers go directly into the courtroom and emerge 30 minutes later to pay their fines, I started to feel a little punished for actually having children NOT enrolled in the Public Daycare System.  So I approached Mr. Security Man and said “Am I being punished here?  For having my children with me?  Because everyone else gets to go in and see the judge, and I’m still sitting on this bench.”

to be continued…

Hey don’t complain at me.  Today.com says I get $1 per 100 word post each day.  So if I can get $2 out of this unhappy occurrence, I’m gonna.  It’s their rules, I’m just trying to play by them.  I hope “to be continued” isn’t ILLEGAL.  That would just be the last straw, you know?

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